Reflexión

I am lucky to have been where I have been and lucky to be coming home again. 

I have been thinking for a few weeks as to how I want to sum up this experience in words. I am filled with mixed emotions because while I will be overjoyed to be reunited with my family and friends, this was the best thing I could have done at this point in my life. I want to reflect on how i have changed over these last 168 days. 

Before, I thought I could speak Spanish. Now I think and speak in Spanish (however littered with Chilenismos it may be, po). The Chileans are aware that they speak poorly and being told I speak Spanish well gave me great satisfaction. 

Before I anxiously arrived at least 15 minutes early for everything . This is not going to change completely as I value my punctuality. However, stressing about is no longer a priority. 

Before I would never consider taking a coach bus for more than a 90minute Milwaukee-Chicago commute. I have now clocked innumerable kilometers and about 75 hours on buses. It is not the most time efficient mode of transportation. The difference is all the parts of the country that one sees on the journey rather than two airport terminals as we are accustomed to when traveling in the U. S. Maybe I will take the Amtrak to California in the Spring....

Before I knew little to nothing about this country. I now have participated in the culture, learned about the problems it faces as a developing country and genuinely enjoyed my lifestyle. Juan admitted to trying to accustom to my way of living when I first arrived but realized that I came here for a new experience. For that, I am thankful. 

Before I was much more concerned with material possessions. Living here has showed me how to have nice things but actually use them. Set the table each meal with a tablecloth and placemats. I managed to be creative in order to live off of what I brought for six months. 

I could go on. The time I have spent away has given me time to reflect on what I want in life. It has made me realize I cannot live for anyone else but myself. I learned to enjoy each moment rather than wishing for the past or the future. I learned the impact that one person can have on students when willing to give them attention and affection. 

Everything happens for a reason. I have always tried to believe this and I have a lot of faith. There is a reason I didn't go to grad school right away. There is a reason I was sent to the tiny town of Galvarino. There is a reason the Castillo family to a risk and agreed to host a Gringa. There is a reason I met all of the wonderful people and saw many beautiful places. I tried new things and took risks. I ate things I never thought I would, often times unaware of what I was consuming. 

I mentioned in my first blog post that "I crave adventure, excitement, a challenge and a life changing experience." Mission. Accomplished. Thank you to everyone who got me through the tough days with messages, packages, tweets and prayers. I am especially grateful for the unconditional support of my parents who constantly  encourage  me and make things possible. 

Goodbyes

I am currently sitting in the front row of the bus bound for Santiago exhausted from an emotional week. One of my intentions was to enjoy each moment of the last days in Galvarino and I would say it was accomplished. 

The semester is ending so classes were more relaxed than normal this week (and that's saying something). I see each class just once a week so the goodbyes began on Monday. My co-teacher Milton announced at the end of the classes that it would be my last day and each class president spoke on behalf of the students. I also thanked them for their interest, participation and energy also telling them how much I learned in the high school. 

From the first month of classes the 1B course was my favorite. The freshmen were well-behaved, yet so fun.   Their class on Tuesday morning got me choked up as they were the first class I met and taught in June. Already labeled as the sentimental gringa or llorona (crybaby), I told them how much they meant to me and hugged them all. To my surprise, they organized a goodbye 'cheers' with Fanta on Wednesday afternoon. 

Thursday morning the first two periods of classes were normal. The third period of the morning I do not have class but Milton asked me to stick around.  Not that they need much of an excuse to cancel classes normally, I was honored to find out that it was for my 'despedida' or send-off with the staff. Nelson prepared homemade churrascos and vino at 11:30am was considered appropriate. José Luis was elected to present my gift from all of my colleagues. Romina, the art teacher and somebody I grew very close to, hand crafted beautiful silver earrings in a traditional Mapuche design. With tear filled speech I managed to tell them how much I appreciate them and they told me I was the favorite of the four previous volunteers. 

Friday night, I went to watch the boys play fútbol one last time. It was an intense game with more than a bit of name calling by players and spectators alike. Saturday morning José Luis, Elias, Pipé and I went to Temuco for a birthday party. In the evening we met up with Romina, Paula and Sergio at La Vida for a Terremoto or two. Unintentionally making our way to the karaoke bar, The Boss, where I  celebrated my 22nd birthday, ultimately finding ourselves dancing at XS, the casino discotheque until the early hours of the morning. 

Sunday afternoon all of the family came over for my farewell asado of Cordero. It was an emotional goodbye with Marina, Tatiana's aunt, who I grew very close to. We discussed what a beautiful experience it has been for everyone. That evening was emotional saying my goodbyes to José Luis's siblings. 

Monday morning we shared desayuno of sopapillas one last time and tearfully sent Antonia off to school. She texted me the whole way to school. Finally Juan loaded my enormous suitcase and with Tatiana we went to the bus terminal. José Luis met us there and about 10 minutes later my bus turned the corner. Tìa Vero, JL's mom jumped on the bus to bid me farewell. I got off for one more hug, only once. The young bus attendant tried to comfort me asking me why I don't just stay in Chile. That along with the sappy music did not help matters and I accepted looking like the gringa loca for the first hour of the trip.  I have felt so much love here and have no doubt I will be returning someday. 

Stay tuned for my final reflections....